69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have fence marks all over my body
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize