Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
