ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
