Your mouth is God's brothel.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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