Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
