were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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