Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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