Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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