I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
