I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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