Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
