I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
