I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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