Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
