this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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