am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
