I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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