i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
