this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
