Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize