Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
