I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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