Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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