farters have to be the big spoon...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
