Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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