Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
