ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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