Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
