Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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