just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
