You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
