This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
