He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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