So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
