have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
