why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This is my gift to your gina
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize