it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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