Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
