I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
