she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
