No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I look better un-naked...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
