Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
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