There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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