Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm sobbing to NWA
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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