I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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