Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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