It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
