btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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