i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
