sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
