ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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