You're my little dorito
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
