My room smells like vodka and shame
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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