Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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