found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
