Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I cockslap morals
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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