This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize