Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
