but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
