I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
