There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
