Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize