Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
