He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
