Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
