taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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