i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
